And I'm tired of it.
Over the last year, I have made concerted efforts to minimize my consumption of products and materials, with a great amount of success. I've thoroughly enjoyed my path towards living a more fulfilling yet simple life. However, when it comes to minimizing the number of distractions and strain on my emotional and mental health, I have been quite negligent. I'm embarrassed by the amount of time I spend online, and every now and then, I'll verbalize my desire to disconnect and take a break...but I don't follow through.
To be quite honest, it's taken a serious toll on my emotional and mental stability. I feel more disconnected than ever from the people in my life that matter to me the most. I've lost a great deal of inspiration and motivation. I feel as though I'm trapped in an endless loop of an inexplicable emotional void. I feel that my anxiety and depression are partial to blame, but the bad habits I've formed when it comes to my misuse of time on social media and the internet have exacerbated those issues even more.
That's where the loop comes in: I'm depressed and anxious, so I spend time catching up on all my social media, which makes me feel more depressed and anxious, so I spend hours watching mind numbing videos on youtube, which makes me feel even more depressed and anxious, but now I feel paralyzed and trapped, so I keep watching videos I don't care about whatsoever, until I fall asleep...feeling depressed and anxious. Then I wake up feeling, you guessed it: depressed and anxious. Let's throw disappointed and embarrassed in there as well because they are part of the emotional fallout the morning after a long night of binging on time wasting activities whilst neglecting important responsibilities out of anxiety over said responsibilities.
I mean, am I the only one who feels this way? Is there anyone else who gets trapped in this loop?
The point of this lengthy rant and overshare is that my current focus for reaching minimalism is to disconnect more frequently, and for longer periods of time, from time wasting habits.
Less social media, less youtube= less guilt, less anxiety, more clarity.
One day, I hope to find the right balance when it comes to managing my time and responsibilities. This goal of mine doesn't mean that I intend on disconnecting from this blog because, to be honest, I already post fairly infrequently as it is. My focus is to detach from the things that drain me, to free up time for that which inspires me.
How do you feel about the way you use your time and the internet? Do you feel overwhelmed by the incessant social media push as well or do you love spending time using social media? Please leave me a comment with your thoughts and feelings, as I believe this is a good topic to ponder and discuss.
Thank you, as always, for stopping in!
Till next time.
Love, Little Mouse