So, I Had a Bad Week...

   Sometimes I feel silly for having a blog and writing about such frivolous things as makeup and fashion, when there are so many issues in the world today, so many ideas to share, so many worthwhile things to create or write about. It seems a bit shallow to focus a lot of my time and energy on trivial matters. 

   The thing is, I feel too much. Every instance of injustice I hear of or witness, every hurt, loss, or struggle that comes to my attention, strikes deep at my heart. I'm extremely sensitive to the feelings of others, to their life stories. I love hearing about what others have experienced, overcome, and learned from. However, no matter how many "success" stories I hear, I am acutely reminded that the issues plaguing mankind remain. For every triumphant story, there are three or four tragic ones, stories without a happy ending, or with any ending. I am constantly reminded of how much pain every human being faces in their life.

   And I'm tired of feeling so much pain.

   So I talk about things that seem shallow, trivial, frivolous. Because those things hurt far less to talk about than deep social issues. Saying that may make me sound shallow, but I sincerely am not a shallow person. I have a very active imagination, and am constantly thinking of new ways to solve problems, songs to write, battles to be won, innovative things to create. I love art, literature, music, science, and psychology. I want to learn as much as I possibly can for as long as I live. 

   But I don't want to share those things with others. Because to share my ideas, my deep, personal feelings and what I create from them or my personal thoughts on major issues is to make myself vulnerable; fragile, breakable. It means I would be willing subjecting myself to criticism; negative and disparaging remarks from those who disagree or are hostile. I simply don't want that. And I don't think that I'm a bad person for wanting to avoid that.

   Some say I'm too negative and pessimistic. I am working on having a more positive attitude. I really am. But I'm not going to fool myself into thinking that anything I write is going to have any impact on society whatsoever. And I certainly am in no way going to solve issues by talking about should be done. So I'll continue to write about trivial things, because it's a hobby and a way for me to take a sensory break from so much internal chaos. Maybe one day I'll want to share the things that haunt me, the strong opinions I have regarding major issues. Personally, I feel that it's more important to do my part by actually doing something to help rather than to just write about what ought to be done, and to do it without drawing attention to myself for it. So many people talk about what should be done or brag about what they are doing, and, to me, that seems as though they've completely missed the point of bringing attention to an issue.

   For now, I just want to suspend my emotions and write about things that make me forget how sad life can be. Even if doing so makes me seem like a vapid, shallow person. I know who I really am, and I don't need to prove who that person is to anyone else. And honestly, who cares if I like to talk about trivial things?! Things are not what define me, it's what I do, why I do it, and how I do it that defines me. That goes for everyone. I'm allowed to enjoy things AND still have awesome ideas.

   This post probably makes me sound absolutely insane and completely self-absorbed. I've just had a really difficult week, with far too much emotional upheaval, and it's gotten me thinking about what I'm doing with my life. Hence the irrational venting. I swear, I usually write this sort of thing in a personal journal so that my venting doesn't affect anyone else. I'm feeling a lot more angst this week than usual.  

Love, Little Mouse


  1. Totally know how you feel, I'm having an overwhelming week myself! Don't ever feel bad about expressing your emotions as there is always someone out there feeling the same. Reading this helped me remember that and I hope my comment can provide some support for you.

    Love your blog, your 'frivolous' talk about beauty and fashion are great!


    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. I really wrestled with doubts about publishing this post, but seeing that others sympathize is actually a huge relief to me. I hope that you will have an absolutely fantastic weekend and that next week will be better for us both!

      Thank you so much for your support and kindness, it means so much to me.

      Samantha M.