It's a Bad Habit, Babe


   Let's talk about a bad habit I have.

   Like most people these days, I have a lot of anxiety. I'm not unique, I know. And like most people who suffer from anxiety, I have little nervous habits that are a sure tell. Restless legs, lip or nail biting, skin picking, hair twisting, finger tapping, ect. 


   The habit that's really become a problem for me is skin picking, particularly the skin around my cuticles.

   I will pick and pick and pick away at the dried bits of skin around my cuticles and nail beds, sometimes even picking at the cuticles, until my fingers bleed. Then I'll stop and try to let them heal for a bit. I'll try to resist the picking for a time, but it never fails that something will trigger a wave of anxiety and I cave, wreaking havoc upon my poor fingers once again. It became a symptom of a much greater problem.

   These last few months have been really bad when it comes to this little habit. To give my skin and fingers a break, I haven't been painting my nails for a while. Honestly, this hasn't helped at all. I think it's actually easier for me to pick at my nail beds when they are bare and ugly looking. I kept telling myself that once the skin heals and looks nice, then I can paint my nails again.

   I finally decided that I just wanted my hands to look nice again. So I broke my own rule, and painted my nails. Surprisingly, I didn't want to pick the skin around my nails. And I resisted doing so the entire time they were painted. Every time I examined my fingers with an urge to pick, I saw how nice my nails looked and I didn't want to ruin them. 

   I then realized that when my nails looked nice, I felt more put together. Because I felt more put together, I felt slightly less anxious and chaotic. It's funny how something so seemingly small can have a deeper, psychological connection. 

   OBVIOUSLY painting my nails DOES NOT solve my problems or cure anxiety. What I'm trying to say, is that doing little things to make my outer world and self orderly can make me feel more stable emotionally and mentally. Making the bed, having a clean room/home, presenting myself in a more confident, put-together manner-all these things contribute to a better mental state. Doing these things consistently makes me feel like I have more control over things in my life, and leave me feeling like I can better cope with what's causing my anxiety.

   To conclude, while I still have some bad, nervous habits, I'm working on freeing myself of the control they have on me. And that's okay. 

   It gives me a really good excuse to paint my nails. 

nail polish/wicked by essie
 Till next time.
Love, Little Mouse

2 comments:

  1. I have the same problem! I'm always picking at the skin around my nails it's such a nervous habit so I can at least focus on something in an awkward situation

    ReplyDelete
  2. I have the same problem! I'm always picking at the skin around my nails it's such a nervous habit so I can at least focus on something in an awkward situation

    ReplyDelete

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