These things may sound cliché, but I felt like sharing some of the things I've learned through my 20's that may seem like common-sense, but are surprisingly not...as I have learned whether through my own mistakes or those of others.
1. Always be kind and considerate.
So many times when I was inclined to respond with anger, I would come to understand the full story behind an incident or the behavior of another and I would be so so glad that I didn't say the angry, unkind things I felt. Sometimes I regretted that I did express those things. This is something I'm working a lot on. We are all struggling with something big; give people the benefit of the doubt and show kindness. You'll feel much better about yourself in the long-run. Strongly related to kindness is being considerate. When a person is considerate, they look beyond themselves to show respect and care to others, even those they may not know. This will move them to show kindness in the way the speak, behave, dress, ect. We're all humans and we all want to be given respect. When you are considerate towards others, you will be more mindful of showing respect, even if you don't feel that someone deserves it.
2.Be reliable.
So many people think it's okay to be perpetually late, to cancel at the last minute, to not say anything at all and just blow off plans, or to leave things open rather than just say no. When you agree to something, follow through. Be there on time, or be respectful enough to call ahead and give notice of your tardiness and be sincerely sorry for making them wait. If something comes up that doesn't allow you to follow through on your plans, show the other person respect by calling them to explain and apologize. If you don't want to do something or have other plans, kindly decline rather than saying maybe and never committing. Doing these things shows respect and consideration to the time, feelings, and efforts of others. It will also move others to show the same respect for you, and they will view you as being a reliable, responsible person. Doing things just to please yourself constantly will leave you feeling incomplete.
3. Be forgiving.
Humans do dumb things. Let go of all those negative, hateful, hurtful things and move on. Holding on to the anger and resentment will kill your happiness, slowly but surely. It doesn't mean we should allow ourselves to be walked all over, it just means that we move on and don't view the person who hurt us in a negative way. Go on living your own life without reminding yourself of that hurt everyday.
4. Happiness does not depend on others or on objects.
It makes me sad when I hear people say or imply that they need a person or an object to complete their life. No, you don't. If your happiness depends on whether or not you have a romantic partner, whether or not everyone loves you, or whether or not you have the latest and greatest gadget YOU WILL NEVER BE TRULY HAPPY. You will constantly be disappointed. Any joy that you do get from that relationship or that item will be temporary, because problems happen and material things break down over time. This is not to say that you shouldn't have relationships with others, or that any joy you have in that relationship is not real, what I mean is that when all of your joy depends on one or two singular people then you will very disappointed if they do or say something that hurts you. Perhaps to the point of not wanting to have anything to do with the person anymore, rather than being able to forgive and move on. There has to be a balance, and we have to view people realistically and positively.
5. Spend time in nature; disconnect from technology.
I have found that I am truly at peace when I am in nature: at the beach, in the woods, ect. The natural elements keep me grounded, they remind me how trivial social media is, and how many more important, real issues are out there. Nature helps me stay connected to my spirituality, which I know not everyone agrees with or believes in, but I do and this makes me truly, genuinely happy. When I am at my most stressed and overwhelmed, I like to walk down to the duck pond that is near my house and just sit on the rocks near the water to listen to the sound of the water running, the ducks swimming and quacking, and the wind in the leaves. It is so unbelievably soothing, and I'm so grateful to have this as a source of calm. It gives me time to really meditate deeply on matters that are more important than just me, and doing this helps me find my place and purpose again. When I go off on my mini-adventures, I try as best as I can NOT to take pictures, selfies, or check my phone at all. Not everything has to be documented and shared. Often times, they need to be lived and felt deeply. You can't do that if you're glued to your phone or taking pictures. Doing so almost always and immediately detaches you from the experience itself.
6. Tell the people you love how you feel about them as often as possible.
Unexpected, tragic things happen all the time. The worst feeling is wondering if you said or did enough for a person you cared about while you had the time to. Don't live with that regret; if you see something or feel something good and wonderful about someone, tell them. Frequently.There is no such thing as showing too much love. Anyone who believes otherwise has either never lost someone dear to them or has allowed their heart to become calloused to natural affection for some reason. Don't let that sort of attitude or negativity stop you from expressing your appreciation and care to those whom you love. This life is brief and fleeting, it should be filled with love and meaning.
Thank you for letting me share my thoughts, sorry if they got a little too emotional. Haha! I hope that they inspired or encouraged you in some way. If not, I appreciate that you cared to take the time to read them.
Have an excellent weekend!
Love, Little Mouse
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